


Fun At The Cinema

by GeniaTheParadox



Category: British Comedy RPF, The Mighty Boosh RPF
Genre: Drabble, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Public Sex, Quickies, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2015-01-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 11:18:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3172422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeniaTheParadox/pseuds/GeniaTheParadox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sort of an AU in that the Goth Detectives aren't famous, but just regular Goth Boyfriends. </p>
<p>Noel and Russell are alone in a cinema. Perfect time for a quickie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fun At The Cinema

**Author's Note:**

> The only way I can write RPFs without feeling weird is to make said real people not famous anymore. And to make it all just plotless smut. Anyway...

Noel was bored. This place was only a small independent cinema, and there weren’t that many films to choose from. So now they were stuck watching some moody Art House film that was all in French, with subtitles and everything, and Noel was steadily losing interest. Not that he’d have been happier watching some brainless Hollywood blockbuster full of car chases and explosions, they were even worse. He just wasn’t in the mood to read subtitles. It was something you had to be in the mood for, really.

Looking around, Noel noticed that the theatre was empty. There was no one sitting in the rows in front of them, or behind them. There weren’t even any cinema stewards patrolling the aisles. A smirk spread across his face as he thought of the possibilities – they were _endless_.

“Russ?” he whispered.

“Mmhmm?”

“There’s no one else here.”

“You what?”

“This place is empty. It’s just us.”

Russell looked around. “Oh yeah... how delightfully eerie. The solitude adds a touch of something special to the place, don’t it? The world as we know it could be coming to an end just outside these walls and we wouldn’t even notice.”

“I weren’t really thinking about it in quite such apocalyptic terms, love.”

Noel rested his head against Russell’s shoulder, turning the other’s head with a gentle touch of his hand against a stubbly cheek until their eyes met in the semi-darkness.

“I see what you’re getting at, darlin’,” said Russell with a smirk to match Noel’s. “You filthy little tart.”

Noel scoffed. “You’re one to talk, you massive slag! You’re the one whose always dragging me into a lavvy cubicle any chance you get. At least here there’s less chance of us getting caught. And this film’s dead boring anyway.”

“You’ve made some very valid points, dear. Although if we do get caught and are thrown from this respectable establishment then you, and you alone, are being held responsible, Fielding.”

“Yeah, whatever. C’mere and kiss me, you idiot.”

Russell laughed but did as he was told all the same, and soon they were kissing in earnest, the film all but forgotten. Russell stroked Noel’s cheek, his hand moving slowly towards his hair, before tugging just hard enough for Noel to moan happily into his mouth – he really loved having his hair pulled, it never failed to turn him on. In no time Russell was in completely control of things, licking into Noel’s mouth and nibbling his bottom lip until Noel has to pull away just to catch his breath.

As Russell kissed his neck, biting and sucking the pale flesh just behind his ear, Noel whispered “Just out of curiosity, have you ever shagged anyone in a cinema before?”

“I may’ve had a cheeky fumble once or twice,” Russell murmured, smiling into the crook of his boyfriend’s neck, while palming the bulge in his skinny jeans. “Wish this place didn't have armrests though, they don’t half get in the way.”

Noel giggled as he reached for Russell’s lap, undoing his jeans as quickly as his clumsy fingers would allow and plunging his hand inside.

“No underwear again, I see?”

“Those pants were holding us back, Noel, and you know it.”

Noel’s breath hitched as his own erection was freed from the confines of his tight jeans, Russell’s hand wanking him off slowly. His other hand gave Noel’s hair another sharp tug and they were kissing again, stroking each other’s cocks in a steady rhythm as they squirmed in their seats. Soon they weren’t so much _kissing_ as just panting against each other’s mouths, foreheads pressed together and eyes shut tightly.

“Russ, I... I wanna suck you...”

“Go for it, darlin’.”

Noel slipped off his seat and onto his knees, getting into position between Russell’s legs. He took Russell’s length into his mouth all the way down his throat until his nose was pressed against the course, dark public hair, before pulling back and swirling his tongue around the crown, just like he knew his boyfriend liked. Russell let out a deep growl of pleasure, one hand tangling into Noel’s hair and the other holding tightly onto the armrest.

The film had gone a bit quiet and serious, and all Russell could hear was Noel sucking and slurping, whimpering around his cock, not to mention his own laboured breathing. He didn't dare look down. Even in the semi-darkness, he was well aware that the sight of Noel between his legs, sucking his cock like his life depended on it, was such an unbelievably sexy image that there was no way he’d be able to last. One sight of those big blue eyes looking up at him with so much lust and wanting, and Russell knew he’d be filling his boyfriend’s pretty mouth with his seed a lot quicker than he wanted.

But that was exactly what Noel wanted – this was only meant to be a quickie, after all, they didn't have all night. He took Russell down his throat as many times as he could, swallowing and moaning around him. Once he needed a breather from that, he instead took to licking and sucking on the crown, stroking the shaft quickly while fondling his balls with his free hand. He only had to look up to see that Russell was barely holding it together, his head thrown back as he swore under his breath – oh yes, that was _exactly_ what he wanted.

Russell’s orgasm took him completely by surprise. One perfect flick of Noel’s soft wet tongue and suddenly he was coming, biting his fist to stop from crying out and grabbing onto Noel’s hair possibly a bit too hard as he erupted into Noel’s mouth. Noel stroked him through it, swallowing every drop of come and licking him clean, before he crawled onto Russell’s lap.

“Ah, _shit_ , I’m so fucking close, Russ,” he gasped, straddling his boyfriend.

Russell pulled Noel into a rough kiss and took his cock in hand, pumping quickly and twisting his wrist just right, as his other hand held tightly onto Noel’s arse. It took no time at all for Noel to unravel, burying his face in Russell’s neck to muffle his own cries as his orgasm finally hit him like a ton of bricks and he came all over Russell’s hand.

They’d had enough quickies in public places to know that they couldn’t enjoy holding each other in the afterglow for very long. Sharing one more lingering kiss, Noel got back onto his own seat and fished a pack of tissues out of his bag so they could clean themselves up. They were just zipping up their jeans and fixing their hair when suddenly the end credits of the film began and the theatre lights went up.

“Wow, just in time,” said Noel with a sigh of relief. “I can’t believe we didn't get caught.”

“I’m still getting my head around the fact that no one else is here,” said Russell, having a proper look round for the first time. “Maybe the world really did come to an end outside. The apocalypse is upon us, and we were too busy having a shag in front of some arty French film to notice.”

“Ah well,” said Noel with a shrug, standing up and putting on his cosy blue coat. “I can think of worse things to be doing during the apocalypse. If London hasn’t been turned into a smouldering crater though, you wanna come back to mine?”

Russell stood up to put his coat on too. “What’s my incentive?”

“What, besides all the bumming opportunities?”

“If we’ve established anything today, Noel, it’s that I can have sex with you regardless of whether we’re in your flat or not. You gotta make an effort, love.”

“Well, them handcuffs I ordered finally came in the post this morning, but if you’d rather us go get some dinner or something...”

“Alright, darlin’, I’m coming to yours. You insatiable little cock-tease.”

“Says the equally insatiable man-whore with the jizz stain on his shirt.”

“And whose fault is that?”

“Stop arguing, babe. Them handcuffs ain’t gonna test themselves out.”

“Right, fair enough. Let’s go see if the world’s still spinning.”


End file.
